#IStandWithPlannedParenthood

Luckily for my avid readers, I just finished watching the shitshow of a "hearing" to de-fund Planned Parenthood, so you don't have to. I watched the first one on Sept 9th, which was similarly horrible, but the McCarthy-esque witch hunt against Cecile Richards last Tuesday was an absolute travesty beyond words. 

So, without further adieu, here is my summarized transcript of the entire hearing.

Generic Republican 1: "Thanks for coming Ms. Richards. You suck and we all hate you more than you can possibly imagine."

Cecile Richards: "No problem. I love to spend my time answering stupid questions from stupid people."

G.R.1.: "Are you aware that Planned Parenthood SELLS BABY PARTS???!!!!!"

C.R.: "No, actually we don't."

G.R.1.: "Yes you do!! I saw it on a video!!"

C.R.: "Again, no we don't."

G.R.1.: "Okay, then how about you tell me how much profit you make MURDERING INNOCENT BABIES!!"

C.R.: "We're a non-profit organization. We don't make a 'profit' on anything."

G.R.1.: "Yeah right. I'm a Republican so I know how business works. You're making a profit on abortion, and it's huge."

C.R.: "We're not a business, we're a nonprofit organization. We don't make a profit. On anything."

G.R.1.: "Why are you being so secretive about how much profit you make on abortions?!"

C.R.: "I'm not being secretive. We gave you copies of all of our financial statements already. We don't make a profit."

G.R.1.: "Look at this chart I found that shows how many abortions you do and how many Pap smears you DON'T. Why do you do so many abortions?! I hate abortions!!"

C.R.: "That chart is from an anti-abortion group. And it's not actually a chart."

G.R.1.: "Agree to disagree."

Generic Democrat 1: "I'm so sorry my idiot colleagues are being such assholes. We all know this is a charade."

C.R.: "Thanks. You rock."

Generic Republican 2: "You're a horrible person. I don't know how you sleep at night. I have grand-kids you know. Why do you want to kill my grand-kids?!."

C.R.: "I don't."

G.R.2.: "Yeah right, you just LOVE murdering grand-babies. And while we're on the subject, why should taxpayers have to pay for your abortions?"

C.R.: "They don't. Federal tax money can't go to abortion. You know this."

G.R.2.: "But you're doing it anyway, right?"

C.R.: "No."

Generic Democrat 2: "We're all so sorry these pricks are being such pricks. Seems like we could be doing something better with our time."

C.R.: "Probably."

Generic Republican 3: "Why aren't you giving people more mammograms? My mom had breast cancer, so I love mammograms. How many of those do you do?"

C.R.: "We've actually never done mammograms at Planned Parenthood. We don't have radiology facilities. We do breast exams, and refer people who need mammograms to radiology clinics. Just like every other doctor in the world."

G.R.3.: "But you 'claim' to do breast exams."

C.R.: "Actually, breast exams and mammograms are two different things."

G.R.3.: "Ha! So you ADMIT that you don't do mammograms!?"

C.R.: "Yup, you got me."

Generic Democrat 3: "Seriously though, I am SO sorry about this."

Generic Republican 4: "Ms. Richards, can you please explain to me why you 'claim' to do breast exams, when your reports show that you don't seem to do ANY mammograms?"

C.R.: "Jesus Christ. Did we not just go through this?"

G.R.4.: "I'm just trying to figure out why y'all think you're so great over there at 'Planned Parenthood' when you obviously aren't doing any of the mammograms you claim to be doing. I mean, if you 'care' about women so much, why are you letting them all die from breast cancer?!"

C.R.: <look of disbelief>

Generic Democrat 4: "I just can't even believe this shit."

Generic Republican 5: "Ms. Richards, did you know that my wife is a nurse? She's a woman. And she's pro-life. BOOM! There goes your stupid idea about women wanting choices."

C.R.: "That's great. Life is about choices. Your wife is free to believe whatever she wants to."

G.R.5.: "Have you heard the good news about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Don't you know he hates abortions? Why can't you just stop it with the abortions?! STOP IT!!! NOW!!!

C.R.: "Uuuummmmm. . . ."

Generic Democrat 5: <shakes head in sad and hopeless manner>

Generic Republican 6: "Can we go back to this mammogram issue?"

Like, 60 hours later. . . . 

Generic Republican 17: "I still don't understand why y'all are lying about the mammograms."

Generic Democrat 16: "I can't believe we're still here."

Generic Republican 18: "Let's go back to the chart we saw earlier."

C.R.: "Still not accurate, and still not a chart."

G.R.18.: "I want to know why your Pap smear numbers are going down while your abortion numbers are going up. It's because you just love doing abortions way more and are refusing to give women Pap smears, right?"

C.R.: "Actually, it's because the medical guidelines have changed so that most women only need a Pap smear every three years instead of every one year. It's science."

G.R.18.: "But that doesn't account for the number of Pap smears going down."

C.R.: "Actually, it does."

G.R.18.: "Nuh uh. You're probably just refusing to give women their Pap smears so you can free up more time for abortions. You're probably keeping women from getting Pap smears just like you're denying them mammograms. Have I mentioned what a horrible person you are?"

C.R.: "Yes, you have. Thank you."

Generic Democrat 17: "For the love of God. Is this really happening?"

Generic Republican 19: "Madam, I don't know how you sleep at night. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but you are the scum on the bottom of the devil's shoes. I wish we could still burn sinners like you alive. In fact, I'm authoring a bill to do just that as we speak. Not only do you cut up babies into tiny pieces, which I know for a fact because I heard there was a video of it, but you also have the audacity to deny women desperately needed mammograms. How dare you madam? How dare you?"

C.R.: "Was that a question?"

Generic Republican 20: "It has come to my attention that you have a higher salary than I do. I'm a Congressman. And a man! And I'm white!! How is that fair?! If you really cared about women like you claim to, you'd take all that fancy money that you spend on shoes and lipstick and use it to give women mammograms! The nerve of some people!!"

Generic Republican 21: "Can you tell me why you only give money to Democrats? I mean, Republicans like money too. Seems pretty partisan to me. Super unfair. Are you involved in some sort of conspiracy with the Democrat Party? You are, right? Why should the taxpayers give you all this money for abortions when you just turn around and give it all to the goddamned Democrats?! Huh? Explain that!!"

C.R.: "Again, taxpayers don't pay for abortions, and we'd be happy to give money to any Republicans who support a woman's right to choose. Unfortunately, they don't seem to exist."

Generic Republican 22: "Can we just get back to why you do SO MANY abortions and SO FEW mammograms??!!"

Generic Republican 23: "I still want to know why you're being so dodgy about how few Pap smears you do. Is it because you use all that taxpayer money for abortions instead?! Huh? HUH??!!"

Like, 127 hours later. . . 

Generic Democrat 23: "Well, I think we can all agree that we've learned nothing useful here today. You're welcome taxpayers.

**************************************************************************

NOTE: The above was a piece of satire. The actual hearing was about a million times more ridiculous. You can watch it here if you want your brain to melt permanently.

Congressional Sideshow

I've just spent a few hours listening to the clusterfuck that was today's House Judiciary Committee hearings on de-funding Planned Parenthood.  I can't even attempt to clarify all of my thoughts on the horror show I just witnessed, so I think I'll just go into a free-form rant.

What the fuck Congress?!

Really?! There's NOTHING more pressing to the country than putting on a 3-ring circus to trot out every tired old stereotype about abortion and Planned Parenthood?

There were four witnesses at this hearing. Three were "pro-life," and one was "pro-choice." So that's definitely fair. Not a single one of the four was actually any sort of medical expert, and not a single one had any actual affiliation with Planned Parenthood.  In fact, Planned Parenthood wasn't even invited to defend themselves!

Let's be clear. The government does not just hand over a stack of cash to Planned Parenthood every year. When they talk about "de-funding" Planned Parenthood, what they're actually talking about is just excluding people who are on Medicaid from using Planned Parenthood as their provider, and preventing Planned Parenthood from using Title X birth control funding from going to underwrite birth control expenses for Planned Parenthood patients (not abortion!). Federal money already doesn't go to abortion due to the stupid fucking Hyde Amendment.

Two of the witnesses were "abortion survivors." People who were the product of a "botched abortion." While they had heartfelt stories to tell, they had no actual understanding of what Planned Parenthood actually does; they were just there because they want to end abortion. They were trotted out as props of the anti-choice movement. Their quarrel isn't necessarily with Planned Parenthood, but with abortion in general. Abortion is already legal. End of story. So what the fuck is this even about?!

And Jesus Christ, if I had a nickel for every mention of God in this proceeding, I'd finally be a rich blogger! Is this how we legislate now? My religious feelings were hurt, so let's make it illegal? Oh yeah, I forgot, that IS how we legislate now. The religious sentiments of the minority now outweigh the rights of the majority.

And this whole "I don't want my tax dollars to fund abortion" shtick is getting just a little bit nauseating. You know what I don't want MY tax dollars going to? Crisis pregnancy centers, fighting never ending wars in the Middle East, tax breaks to corporations, need I go on? But guess what, our tax system is not á la carte. None of us get to pick and choose what our taxes do and don't fund, except through the system by which we elect representatives. and from the Republican crop of Congressmen I just saw, we're not doing a very good job at that. 

All this hearing did was allow a bunch a biblical literalist blowhards to pontificate on their poor hurt feelings over the fact that their precious tax dollars go to an organization they don't agree with. An organization, to be clear, which PREVENTS more abortions than ANY other single organization in the country! What in the hell do they not get about the link between low cost birth control and preventing abortion??!!

No wonder people hate politics when this is what we have to work with! The rank stupidity and lack of ability to comprehend nuance is just gross. I get why anti-abortion advocates don't like abortion. It's easy to understand because it doesn't require any sort of thoughtful reflection. Abortion = murder, God says so, end of story. I get that. What I don't get is their willful ignorance to even attempt to understand why bodily autonomy might be important to women! I realize it requires more than a modicum of thinking to wrap your brain around, but could they at least give it a try sometime?!

I just can't. I'm so sick of this shit. We have totally given up on rationality and evidence based discussion and given in to pandering of the most sickening kind. I think I'm going to need a month long break from the media after this. If you want to watch this appalling shit show for yourself, which I would not recommend, you can do so here.  But seriously, do yourself a favor and watch cute kitten videos instead.


P.S. - If you want to hear a more thoughtful and less profane version of my thoughts on this, listen to my recent interview on the Sober Atheist podcast.

Bodily Autonomy

Abortion.

It’s a thorny topic. Just saying the word out loud makes most people squirm. And there are passionate people on all sides of the debate that feel equally strongly about their positions.

I was just challenged by a conservative Christian friend of mine to read a post from the “The Matt Walsh Blog” on the “bodily autonomy” argument for abortion. I read it, and now I’m responding. This post will make a lot more sense to you if you first read the original article, which you can find here. Read that first and then come back here.


Are you back? Okay, let’s get started.

First I need to point out that whoever wrote the original letter to Matt was very misguided in their use of language. Calling names and berating people does not strengthen your argument, nor does it help the person you’re having a discussion with see your point of view and take it seriously. So there’s that. I wouldn’t have written the letter in quite the same way.

But anyway, here is my point-by-point rebuttal of the rebuttal to the argument. Again, if you haven’t read the original post, or at least skimmed it, you’re going to be completely lost. So read it and follow along.


1. Matt is correct that the relationship between mother and child is different than the relationship between you and a random stranger. Of course it is. There is nothing quite so meaningful as the bond between a mother and her child. As a mother, I’m astutely aware of this. But I think the fundamental misunderstanding comes from the fact that the bodily autonomy argument isn’t necessarily meant to be an argument about morality; it’s about legality.

What we are saying when we say that a woman should have the sole right to determine what goes on inside their own body is that the government should not have a say in what you do or do not use your body for. Whether you think having an abortion is “moral” or not isn’t really the question. The question is who gets to make that decision for you? You, or the government?

A better analogy would have been this: if your child needs a kidney transplant, should the government compel you to give them your kidney? Again, keep in mind that I’m NOT asking whether or not you would do it (I think we all would if we could). The questions is, “should the government compel you to do it?” And if they should, should it only be for biological children, or adopted children as well? I cannot stress this enough: this is not about morality or what you would do in a specific situation; it’s about what the law would compel you to do, and who gets to make that law, enforce it, and carry out the punishment for it.

And before you ask, yes, I am also in favor of legalized prostitution, drugs, piercing, and pretty much whatever else you want to do with your own body.

2. How a person gets pregnant is irrelevant. Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting should not be a punishment for having sex. It’s easy to say that everyone who has ever had sex was making a mature decision and they should live with the consequences, but that’s just not the case. Have you met a teenager recently (or ever been one)? How a person gets into the condition they’re in shouldn’t be relevant to the treatment they receive or their ability to control their own body. If I am injured while snowboarding, should I just deal with the broken leg?

3. Again, this goes back to point number 1. It’s not about the morality of the situation or what we think a “good parent” should do. It’s about whether or not they should be forced to do it by the government, or thrown in jail for it.

4. I don’t even know how to comment on the whole “natural order” thing. It assumes that there is a god that created a natural order that we always have to stick by no matter what. If that’s the case, then I guess we also can’t ever use birth control, or shave our legs, or eat Hot Pockets®. It sounds like Matt thinks we shouldn’t ever go against the “natural order,” so does that mean we should eschew dentistry too? I’m just leaving that one alone.

5. The first problem I have with this one is his terminology. The use of the term “abortionist” is specifically meant to make a doctor sound like a criminal, which I guess is his point, but it really bothers me. I’ve met abortion doctors, and they are anything but creepy, trench coat wearing butchers (although, when we make abortion illegal, we will see many more of those types around). They are doctors trying to do what is best for their patients. They are not doing it to make money (or else they would be charging a helluva lot more). I have the same problem with the term “abortion industry.” There is no abortion “industry.”

But I digress. Matt claims that abortion involves an embryo or fetus being “crushed, dismembered, poisoned, or torn apart,” which leads me to believe that he doesn’t actually know how an abortion is done. Depending on the stage of pregnancy, there are different methods, and the later the pregnancy is, the harsher the method becomes. I won’t lie; it does make me uncomfortable. But I keep coming back to the same question: “Is it the government’s job to tell another woman what she can do with her body?”

I don’t know the circumstances of every pregnancy. What I do know is that if you’re seeking a late-term abortion, you probably aren’t there because you just didn’t feel like being pregnant anymore. Often times there is a fetal defect, or a life-threatening condition for the mother. Since I don’t know what’s going on in every case, I shouldn’t be the one making the decision. And neither should my congressman. I know that it’s easy for some people to look at women who are having abortions as “careless,” and “selfish,” but keep in mind that you do not, and cannot possibly know what is going on in every situation. That’s what it comes down to.

6. He’s right. The argument does put me in the precarious position of allowing for a woman to do harmful things while she’s pregnant. I really hate it, but I don’t think it should be illegal for a woman to do reckless things while she’s pregnant. I think she should be encouraged not to do them, and assuming she wants to have a baby, she won’t do them, but at the end of the day, I don’t think she should be thrown in jail for them. Because again, it puts the government in control of what she does with her body.

7. Please refer to point number 5. Here’s where I have a problem. He uses the word “moral” again. This is not a discussion about morality, it is a discussion about legality. You may be surprised to know that I am a lot more bothered by late term abortion than by first-trimester abortion. But my solution to this is not to outlaw ALL abortion. It’s to make first trimester abortion more accessible to women who are seeking it. Unlike a lot of pro-lifers (who equate an embryo with an infant), I DO think there is a difference between a 2-day-old zygote and a 35-week-old fetus. However, since the question of “when life begins” can be a muddy one, depending on what you consider to be “life” and what your specific religion (or lack thereof) tells you, I think the most reasonable course of action in the law is to make life begin at birth. Again, we are talking about legality, not morality.

8. This one gets into the semantics of the word “body.” The bodily autonomy argument only addresses the use of your body and its parts. What Matt is talking about here is really a philosophical argument that I don’t think applies. Pregnancy requires more or less the same thing of every female body it is affecting. Parenthood does not.

For example, I could have chosen to breastfeed my children, but I didn’t. Did I get thrown in jail for it? No, because there are alternate means of feeding a child and the government doesn’t require me to use my body to nourish another person, even if I gave birth to them. It would be easy for someone to make a moral pronouncement about what a “bad mother” I am, if they didn’t know I did it for medical reasons. I was on a medication that was unsafe to take while breastfeeding. Fortunately, the government did not step in and make that decision for me. I made it with the help of my doctor, the way medical decisions should be made. And you know what? Even if I just “didn’t feel like” breastfeeding, I shouldn’t have been thrown in jail for not doing it, because it’s my body.

9. Come on. Just, come on. Really? Doing what you want with your body is not the same as doing what you want anywhere with your body.

10. See point number 8.


The crux of the issue here is that pro-lifers seem to think this is as easy as making a decision about what you would do or what a “good person” should do. But it’s not. It’s a thorny issue precisely because it has to do with pregnancy and motherhood, which are profoundly important things. But being pro-choice does not mean “I think abortions are great and I think everyone should have at least one.” Nor does it mean “every unplanned pregnancy should end in an abortion.” All we are saying is “abortion should remain legal.” At the core, that’s really it. We’re not “pro-aborts” as Matt so callously refers to us. We are people who think that the government has no place in telling us what should or should not go on in our uterus, and that our lives are complex enough that we are in the best position to make decisions for ourselves. At its heart, it’s really a Libertarian ideal, which is why I find it perplexing that Libertarians such as Ron Paul are anti-choice.

It’s hard to be in agreement on this issue because we are starting from different points. The pro-life community generally starts with the premise that every fertilized egg is a “soul” that God has sent to Earth for a specific purpose. When you’re an atheist, as I am, you don’t see it that way. You see that embryo as a potential person, but not one that is equal to the living, breathing woman that is currently pregnant. In my view, that is probably the single biggest reason that we’ll never agree on this issue. 

There are many, many other issues that cause division when it comes to abortion, but this post has already gotten extraordinarily long, and it is supposed to be focused on the bodily autonomy argument, so maybe I’ll tackle the other arguments and issues another day. You can read more about my views on abortion here.

But let me end with this statement. I really wish the pro-life community would do less judging of the women who have abortions, and work harder to prevent the need for them in the first place. Birth control, comprehensive sex-ed, assistance for people living in poverty; all of these things reduce the need for abortion in the first place, but the pro-life community in general seems so determined to NOT provide these things either. There is SO MUCH we could do together to prevent unwanted pregnancies, but when you spend all of your time trying to outlaw something that will still happen if it’s illegal, you miss the opportunity to really make a difference. And that makes me sad.

Abortion Exceptions

There is a lot of newsworthy stuff going on this week, but there is one thing in particular that's been on my mind for awhile now. With all of the hoopla surrounding Congress and various states trying to pass abortion bans with different levels of success, much of the discussion seems to revolve around the issue of exceptions for rape and incest.

And you know what? I think abortion exceptions are bullshit. Yes, you read that correctly: Bull. Shit.

And here's why. I know it seems to be the popular thing for pro-choicers to bring up this issue to show how unreasonable the anti-choicers are being (they don't even want exceptions for rape or incest!!), but I think it only serves to reinforce the idea that some women deserve abortions and others don't.

I mean, if you're against abortion because you think it's murder, then why in the world would you think that any exceptions are okay? Murder is murder, right?  So to me, it seems like what we're really saying when we talk about these exceptions is that, okay, we agree that abortion is bad, but can we at least agree that the "non-slutty" women can get them?

Why don't we just make a law that says you can only get an abortion if you promise that you only had sex once and agree to never do it again? It seems just as ridiculous to me. We shouldn't be conceding that AT LEAST rape and incest victims should have access to safe abortion, we should be arguing that ALL women can decide for themselves if they want to carry a pregnancy to term or not. The manner of conception should have no bearing on the pregnancy itself. A woman who is not raped should have just as much agency over her own body as a woman who is raped. If not, then you've created a situation where a group of people get to decide for you what is "legitimate rape" and what is not (which is exactly what we see happening now).

In the pre-Roe days, it was actually possible in some places to get a legal abortion. But you know what you had to do? Get at least a couple of different doctors (almost always men) to say that you really needed one. That, you know, you weren't just having one for fun. Or, you could go in front of a medical panel (again, male doctors) and convince them of your case.  If they thought you had a convincing argument, then maybe they would let you terminate the pregnancy. If not, you were SOL.

It seems to me that pushing for abortion exceptions only furthers the idea that men need to "regulate" what kind of sex women are having. Once the government determines what kind of sex you had, then they will tell you whether your body belongs to someone else for nine months or not. And if you were having sex just for pleasure, well. . . . .

I know we're trying to make the best out of a bad situation, but the whole thing seems much more damaging in the long run than it is helpful right now.  Or am I being totally unreasonable about this?

Mother by Choice

This past weekend I went on a wedding gown shopping trip to the "big city" with my BFF, who's getting married this summer.  While we were at the hotel, I called home using "facetime" so I could say goodnight to my family.  While I was cooing and giving googely faces to my 3-year-old, my BFF was sitting on the other bed quietly laughing to herself.  When I finally got off the phone after the hundredth "nigh, nigh Mommy," she said, "If you could have seen yourself doing that 20 years ago you would NOT have believed it." 

And she's right.  Hell, if you had told me 10 years ago I'd be doing that, I would have said you were crazy. Why? Because I was never, and I mean never, going to have children.  I've never thought much of them.  I've never liked holding other people's babies, and honestly, kids have just always creeped me out a little.  Okay, a lot.

So why the big change?  What led me to making strange faces and kissing an image on an iPhone?

Choice.

I made a choice 11 years ago (and then made one again 4 years ago) to have a baby.  After a couple of years of marriage, I thought to myself, "Maybe trying out that whole 'parenting' thing would be an adventure. I mean, how badly could I mess it up, right? Other people have kids all the time and they seem to enjoy it."

So when I found out I was pregnant, it was a moment of happiness (along with a little bit of sheer terror). I never once had to consider getting an abortion.  My pregnancy was planned and at least mostly healthy.  I was not like the many women who get pregnant every day in much less desirable circumstances.

I always hear the old line "I used to be pro-choice, but then I had a baby."  As if it had never occurred to the person where babies actually come from.  But in my case, being pregnant and having children has made me even more pro-choice (if that's possible).  It's easy to talk about pregnancy in abstract terms when you've never been pregnant.  But when you have, there's a whole new appreciation for the experience to go along with the rhetoric. 

I became more staunchly pro-choice because I realized that pregnancy is no day at the park.  Aside from the obvious things like morning sickness, you don't realize what a huge impact it has on your body until you actually go through it.  I remember feeling like I was going through puberty all over again.  And because my pregnancies were both so very wanted, I was able to stick it out and put up with all the indignities of having your body not really belong to you for a little while.  But that was my choice, and no one got to make it for me.

Today my first baby turns nine, and I'm so very glad I let him share my uterus for awhile.  I'm equally as glad I let my just-turned-three-year-old rent out the space as well.  I made two choices that I'm very proud of.  But that doesn't mean my choice is the same one every woman should make.  Every woman has to weigh the circumstances of her life and her body, and she should be as free to make a choice that fits her life as I was.

The Crisis Project

"The Crisis Project" (not to be confused with my cousin Drew's awesome rock band, "Crisis Line") is a website that posts secretly recorded videos of visits to crisis pregnancy centers around the country.  I heard about it while listening to one of my many favorite podcasts, "Reality Cast" which is produced by RH Reality Check.  So I immediately hit the web and found their site, and let me tell you, I could watch these videos all day.

Needless to say, I have a huge problem with crisis pregnancy centers.  If you don't know what they are, think "Birthline" if you have one of those in your area.  It's a religious organization pretending to be a clinic.  They are the ones who post all the "Pregnant? Need help?" ads everywhere you go.  They advertise free pregnancy tests, and then when unsuspecting women go there for their free test, they get hit with all kinds of religious propaganda and medical misinformation.

These centers are a key source of all the misinformation floating around out there in regards to abortion and contraception. For instance:

• Did you know that abortion causes breast cancer?  Well, no, it doesn't, but that doesn't stop them from telling women that it does. 
• Did you know that abortion can lead to depression, alcoholism, and even suicide?  Well, again, no it doesn't, but if a person in a white lab coat says it, it must be true, right? 
• How about your boyfriend?  Did you know that you guys will probably break up because of this abortion?  Well, since I couldn't find any good scientific info on this one, I'm going to take a leap of faith and assume that co-parenting is at least as challenging to a relationship, if not more so, than choosing to terminate a pregnancy.
• And did you further know that abortion is even more dangerous than childbirth and can lead to death!?  Well, according to a report published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology, "Researchers found that women were about 14 times more likely to die during or after giving birth to a live baby than to die from complications of an abortion." 

So basically, these places trick women into thinking they're getting unbiased medical information, when they're really just getting incredibly biased religious misinformation.  I would feel a lot better about these places if they would just be honest about their intentions.  If they just advertised as a place to get a free pregnancy test and some religious counseling, or at the very least did not advertise that they provide "abortion counseling" (because they don't) I would feel slightly better about the fact that they are receiving my Minnesota tax dollars to operate. 

Think I'm exaggerating about how these places operate?  Go to the site yourself and check out some of the videos.  Or if you'd like a longer, more in-depth assessment, check out the HBO documentary "12th & Delaware."  Then tell me these places don't have an obvious religious agenda that has no excuse for operating with taxpayer money.

Ultrasound Politics

I just caught the tail end of an NPR show discussing the new Virginia ultrasound law that requires women seeking abortions to have a vaginal ultrasound to help them better understand the decision they so flippantly made about terminating their pregnancy.

I've been hearing about this issue a lot lately, but finally feel the need to put my 2 cents in. 

First of all, I've had a vaginal ultrasound, and let me tell you, it ain't fun.  I had to get one during my last pregnancy, and as a person with sexual assault in my background, it made me very queasy.  Not to be indelicate, but we're talking about a rather large probe here.  I did it without (too much) complaint, because I was having a very wanted and planned for pregnancy, and my doctor assured me it was in my best interest.  But I can't imagine being pushed into this procedure for absolutely NO medical reason, especially if I had been seeking an abortion because I was raped.  Let me repeat that: having a pre-abortion vaginal ultrasound serves absolutely NO medical purpose.  The purpose is clearly to get the best image possible of the embryo in the hopes that the woman seeking the abortion will change her mind.  After all, you know how emotional and wishy-washy we women are about making personal decisions.

The woman in the NPR discussion had written an article about the new law that described the ultrasound as a form of rape, since the law does not allow for the woman to give her consent to be vaginally probed; she either does it, or she doesn't get the abortion.  The author of the piece was roundly chastised for this point of view, but I think she made a good point.  Doesn't the government forcing you to be vaginally probed fall somewhere along the lines of sexual assault?

This law is nothing more than yet another attempt to slut-shame women who had the audacity to have sex with someone in an instance where bearing a child was not the ultimate goal.  It is also an attempt to continue pushing the lie that women who have abortions do so casually, and without really knowing what they're doing, which of course implies that women just aren't all that smart to begin with.  And you know what, if women keep voting for the people (mainly men) who are passing these ridiculous laws, then maybe we're not so smart, are we?

Letter to a Bumper Sticker

This article was just so great I had to reprint it here.  That, and I'm too lazy to write anything original at the moment.  It was written by Cate Odonnell at Drake University and I'm very jealous that I didn't write it. Enjoy.

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge my favorite bumper sticker I used to see in the Goodwin-Kirk parking lot. I’m talking, of course, about the one that asks me, “Aren’t you glad your mother was pro-life?”

Good call, bumper sticker. Yes, all people who give birth are automatically pro-life. But just for argument’s sake, what might it be like to have one of those crazy, baby-eating, pro-choice mothers?
Bumper sticker, it might interest you to know that I personally have one of those baby-eating mothers. “But that’s impossible,” you might say. “You have not been eaten and surely you were once a baby.”

Well played, bumper sticker. One of the choices offered by being pro-choice is giving birth. My baby-eating mother didn’t decide to keep me out of fear, lack of access to a safe, legal abortion or because she saw a creepy pro-life billboard. In fact, it would seem that she kept me because she wanted me. Sometimes baby-eaters do stuff like that.

Pro-life is an interesting term, actually. The men and women who are truly pro-life are awesome. You can tell they’re awesome because they do such things as help pregnant women access prenatal resources and help parents locate health care, childcare and other support they need. Rather than guilting women or taking away their rights, some pro-life organizations also look at more successful ways of lowering the number of abortions, such as educating people about using birth control and preventing unwanted pregnancies. Avoiding unwanted pregnancies means fewer abortions, which means everyone wins. Go ahead and give the people who fall into this category a high-five. I like them.

Interestingly enough, though, many people who call themselves pro-life would more appropriately fit under the title of anti-choice. I’ve noticed that a solid chunk of the people who claim to be pro-life actually do more to reduce my autonomy than to increase the chance of life or the quality of life of my future children.

If you’re confused about whether you’re pro-life or anti-choice, here’s a litmus test: Are you forcing your religious convictions on me? Then you are anti-choice. Are you harassing a woman entering Planned Parenthood, intentionally and cruelly making a difficult day harder for her? Anti-choice again. Do you feel that cells in my body have more rights than I do? Anti-choice. Are you holding up a sign that confuses the terms “zygote,” “embryo” or “fetus” with an incorrect term like “baby” or “child?” Well, that doesn’t make you anti-choice as much as scientifically inaccurate and rhetorically misleading. But you still don’t qualify as pro-life. Boom. Roasted.

Moreover, when women are no longer able to get abortions for life-endangering pregnancies, it seems less pro-life and more pro-death. Also falling under pro-death: limiting safe and legal abortions for women, causing an increase in illegal “back alley abortions.” According to the Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of Planned Parenthood, 47,000 women worldwide died from unsafe abortions in 2008, not including the women with serious infections and lifelong physical and emotional scars. Don’t limit my right to a safe abortion and tell me you’re pro-life. Just don’t.
I’ll be real with you, pro-life bumper sticker. If I were to have any other kind of medical procedure and you interfered with it, I would judge you hardcore. There is, for instance, no need for you to protest my knee surgery with offensive signs. If you attempted to pass legislature to make knee surgery more difficult to get, then that would be a jerk move. Ditto in trying to ensure that my insurance wouldn’t cover that knee surgery. When it’s all said and done, I feel like you have no business being involved in my knee surgery at all, really. Seeing, you know, as it is a private medical procedure and also not your knee.

So how do we meet in the middle when you think I’m a baby killer and I think you’re laying claim to my uterus? You may be able to tell from aforementioned comments that I have a few opinions on abortion, and I am not free from blame when I say that as students at Drake, we have polarized the issue to the extent that almost all we can do is close our minds. The crosses in Helmick Commons last year signifying “dead babies” was probably not the most persuasive gesture Drake Respect for Life could have imagined (especially since I find it presumptuous that my embryo would have a cross. Are all “dead babies” automatically Christian now?). Likewise, if you’re one of the people who took those crosses or otherwise destroyed that display, you did absolutely nothing but prove your intolerance to other points of view. Good work, kids.

I would like to call a truce of sorts. As pro-choice Drake students, is it possible that we don’t tear down signs that promote Respect for Life and its events? In fact, what if we go to the events and try to understand their members’ perspectives? They had a non-polarizing speaker come to campus last year that said women don’t have access to or knowledge of resources and options besides abortion. What up, compromise? At the same point, it would be nice if the most recent pro-life speaker on campus didn’t lump together homosexuality, abortion, child abuse and the Holocaust. I can’t say those arguments convinced me of anything besides a misunderstanding of every issue, ever.

What if we had conversations around abortion instead of debates? Discussion around the issue of abortion is important, whether it is in classes, in print or in chalk. Perhaps we could see each other as intelligent and opinionated individuals instead of monsters. It would be nice to see collaborative programs educating students about reproductive rights and issues, and it would be great if you stopped assuming things about my mom. I dream of a day when outspoken pro-choice supporters and passionate pro-lifers can walk hand-in-hand and be judged not by their stances on abortion, but by their willingness to open their minds and respect each other’s seriously misguided perspectives.

Boom. Put that on a bumper sticker.

Faces of Abortion

I have my DVD set to record anything that has "abortion" in the description. I'm always hoping this will snag me some good documentaries on the issue, but at least once a week I end up with a recording of a show called "Faces of Abortion" that runs on one of the 2 million religious channels Dish Network seems to carry.

I generally just delete these without even watching them, but since it's summer now and all my shows are on hiatus, I decided to put on "Faces" while I was getting ready for work the other morning.

What I noticed right off the bat was the two portly elderly white gentleman sitting in what must have been the peanut gallery, judging quietly from the side of the stage. I guess they were deacons or something? Then the scowly lady host started to introduce the woman whose story we were about to hear. The lady host had one of those Botoxed faces with a permanent false friendly-ish expression that you can see right through to the eyes that are judging you.

The woman whose story was presented had apparently been coerced into an abortion at age 19 by her boyfriend. Predictably, she regretted the abortion immediately (probably because she didn't really want to have it in the first place). After a downward spiral, she found Jesus several years later, which REALLY made her regret the abortion.

The second story presented was about an old guy who had helped his girlfriend have an illegal abortion back in the day and didn't regret it until. . . wait for it . . . he found Jesus.

After the 2 stories there was a lengthy discussion by the old guys and another hip young Christian guy who worked in the Development (aka-send us money) Department, about how they as men needed to "protect women" from being hurt by abortion. So basically, us silly-headed women aren't smart or moral enough to make decisions for ourselves, so we need our big, strong knights in shining armor to protect us from ourselves.

I think I'll just go ahead and delete it again next time.

Bumper Sticker Logic

I put a bumper sticker on my car the other day that reads "Pro-Child, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice."  I'm a little nervous about it.  Every time I go to the grocery store now I'm waiting for someone to come up and start yelling at me.  I try to avoid bumper stickers because they don't generally change anyone's mind about anything, but I've gotten so tired of seeing pro-life bumper stickers all over town and figured maybe it would uplift some of my pro-choice neighbors to see that they're not alone (if in fact they exist at all).

Here's a rough sampling of the bumper stickers that are very common around here:
-Choose Life
-I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money. You keep the change.
-If Obama's the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
-Abortion stops a beating heart.
-TEA - Taxed enough already
-Work Harder - Millions on welfare depend on you

Not to mention the hundreds of Christian fish I'm stuck looking at in traffic every day.

You see what I'm up against?

What Planned Parenthood REALLY does.

With all the current controversy surrounding Planned Parenthood, my head has been spinning with the sheer volume of misleading and simply untrue things being said about the organization.  I used to work at Planned Parenthood, so I figure I'm in a position to put at least some of these untruths to rest.

I worked in one of PPH's many small town family planning clinics.  We did not do abortions at our clinic, as most PPH's don't.  Only one PPH clinic in Minnesota actually performs abortions.  The other 23 do pretty much the same thing as my clinic did. We provided birth control to people.  As well as pap smears, breast exams, STD tests and treatment, and pregnancy tests.

I think much of the controversy surrounds what takes place after those pregnancy tests, so I'll tell you exactly how we handled them.  First of all, we did the test, which took five minutes to run.  Unlike the crisis pregnancy centers, we didn't tell the woman the test would take half an hour and then force her to sit in a room looking at images of fetuses.

When I was trained in to deliver pregnancy test results, here's what I was told to do: 

If the test was negative, I was to encourage the woman to come back to get birth control (which usually involved getting a pap smear, which is why they would have to come back). 

If it was positive, the first step was to ask them if they were surprised by the result and if they had thought at all about what they would do if the test was positive.  Most of them had, since they were already there for the test. 

If they said, "I want to keep the baby" then we handed them a pregnancy resources guide which had the names of maternal help organizations, along with an application for Medicaid if they weren't insured. 

If they said. "I've been thinking about adoption," then we handed them the same pregnancy resources guide which also had the names of several adoption agencies in it.

If they said, "I'm thinking about getting an abortion," then we handed them the same pregnancy resources guide which also had the phone number for the Planned Parenthood clinic which did abortions.  If they asked for more information on abortion, we were not allowed to give it to them.  We simply pointed again to the phone number and told them to direct all their questions to the people at that phone number.

And under no circumstances, ever, were we instructed or permitted to try to influence the woman in any way as to what she wanted to do about the pregnancy.  That was her decision to make, not ours.  We simply provided her with the resources she asked for and let her take it from there, using her own judgement and support system.

When I hear PPH being so demonized by Michele Bachmann and her ilk, it really makes me angry.  Not only because of how wrong they are in their assumptions, but also because they are defaming the many wonderful, caring people I worked with over the years.  I never once met a co-worker who was there to benefit from the windfalls of "big abortion."  My co-workers were genuinely warm and giving people who were there to help women (and men).  They were there because they deeply believed that all people should be able to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy.  We tried our very best to prevent unwanted pregnancies to begin with, and when that failed, we allowed women to  decide their own futures with whatever help they needed from us.

Women's Expo Wrap Up

For all of you followers on the edge of your seats; yes, I did make it out of the hospital in time to staff our pro-choice booth at the local women's expo last Saturday.  And what an exciting day it was. . . .

One of my favorite booth visitors was a kind old gentleman who shuffled up to our booth with his wife (I'm assuming - she never said anything).  He took a look at the sign we have hanging under our banner that reads "Pro-Child, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice," and exclaimed, "Oh, good for you! This is great - what a great booth!  Are you a local organization then?"  I responded that yes, our group is local and fairly small as he looked over the materials on our table.  He looked at the sign again and suddenly looked at me and said, "Wait a minute - that says 'pro-choice.'  Do you advocate abortion?!"  I replied with "No, I don't, but I think that everyone should be able to make up their own mind on the issue," and before I could even get the whole sentence out he raised his cane up, waved it at me and shouted "Oh for crying out loud!!"  He backed away from the booth still waving his cane at me and shouted something about parenthood, but by then I couldn't really hear him anymore.  I was thinking too hard about the powerful and thoughtful argument he had presented me with and starting to change my mind on the issue.

Another man came up to the table (he was a vendor from another booth) and also looked at our sign with approval, then bought one of our buttons that read "pro-family, pro-choice."  He signed up on our email list, then told us that he had gotten into a heated argument with someone the other day over "this issue."  He said that his friend was talking to him about the Planned Parenthood funding hoopla.  As he was telling us this, he spit out the words "Planned Parenthood" as if he had vomited them into his mouth.  He asked his friend why, if they were in favor of funding PPH, they weren't in favor of giving just as much money to Birthright?  The two of us at the booth just stood there puzzled as he nodded at us and quietly walked away telling us "thank you" for the button.

Is it really that foreign to people that you can be pro-child, pro-family AND pro-choice?  I think people thought that we were doing some sort of false advertising, but we really feel that the pro-child, pro-family, pro-choice thing properly describes our group.  A large percentage of the people in our group are mothers, and isn't everybody "pro-family?"

Of course, what we got the most of during the day was a constant stream of young women taking a condom out of our basket, pondering it for a minute, then saying something like "it's too late for me."  We heard stories all day of young mothers who had no knowledge of (or access to) birth control.  One girl told me that she had worn a purity ring and then proceeded to get pregnant her first time (she had always heard that you couldn't get pregnant the first time).  When I told her that there have been studies done which have proven that purity rings serve no purpose at all in delaying sex, she seemed genuinely shocked.  I think that all this time she's been carrying around some kind of guilt, feeling like she's the ONLY one who ever broke the purity ring promise.  I felt bad for her.

We also had a mom who was outraged that her 15-year-old daughter had been able to get birth control pills at a PPH clinic.  She told us that she had "control" over whether or not her daughter got pregnant now.  I asked her how she had control over that and she said her daughter was grounded.

We did however get a few cool moms who picked up some condoms to put in their teenagers' Easter baskets.  One said that although she knew her precious babies wouldn't need them, maybe they had a friend they could give them to, then they all laughed.  It was a refreshing bit of realism in a day filled with people wearing blinders.

The F-Word

I was watching a show the other day and they had a clip from Phyllis Schlafly plugging her new book "The Flipside of Feminism."  She basically said tht feminism is totally unnecessary, and that it has made women less happy over the last 30 or 40 years.  She further said that since she was able to get a college degree in 1940, then "what's the problem?"

Apparently she never studied the suffragette movement when she was in college, because if it hadn't been for the brave women who fought for the right to vote, she wouldn't be able to.  I'm always amazed that we have such short memories in this country when it comes to womens' rights.  It's as if society just kind of let women do all the things they wanted to do, and no one had to fight to get us those rights. 

What I find the most appalling is when women such as Schlafly, or Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin, enjoy their public lives and go out on their public speaking engagements and advance their public careers, all the while shitting on the very women who earned them the right to do those things.  They can make fun of feminism all they want, but if it weren't for feminism, they wouldn't have had access to the choices they've been able to make.

Why I'm Pro-Choice

I think a lot of women my age in this area wonder why someone would be pro-choice.  They've grown up on a steady stream of anti-abortion rhetoric, and have always lived in a world where abortion was legal, if not always accessible.  So here it is; why I happen to be pro-choice.

Keep in mind that I'm not speaking as a representative of the pro-choice community, or for anyone else who happens to be pro-choice.  I'm only speaking for me, and my views are my own.

#1 - I have a sense of history.
I am kind of a history buff in general, but when it comes to abortion, I find the history in America fascinating.  What many anti-choice activists don't seem to realize (or care about) is that abortion has been around basically forever.  It's not as though it started in 1973.  In America, it actually was legal for quite a long time.  If you want to learn about that, read "The Worst of Times" by Susan Brownmiller.  I don't have time to get into it here.  The point is, during earlier parts of this century, women died routinely from illegal abortion, many times leaving behind several other children.  I don't see how it's humane to "save" one baby at the risk of the other 7 the woman has at home.  Those children count more, in my opinion.  They are already here and need to be cared for.

#2 - I don't believe life begins at conception.
Do I know when exactly life does begin?  I would say birth, but obviously we get into some murky territory around the 5th month or so.  However, I definitely do not equate an embryo with an infant.  I believe that embryos are potential life, but not equivalant to the crying babies in the maternity ward.  I also know that the Bible keeps pretty quiet on the issue, as did Jesus, and a church telling me something I should believe just because they said so does not hold much sway with me.

#3 - I've been pregnant.
I've heard many people say that they were pro-choice until they became pregnant, but honestly, pregnancy made me more pro-choice.  Pregnancy is a life-changing, profound event that is not to be taken lightly.  It has an enormous impact on your body and mind and is not something women should be forced into.

#4 - I don't think women are stupid.
I'm not saying there aren't stupid women out there (just look at Sarah Palin), but when it comes to childbirth, women have the capacity to make up their own minds.  Noboby "stops in for an abortion" while doing their grocery shopping as Michele Bachmann so callously put it.  Abortion is a serious decision, and women think seriously about it.  They make up their own minds in the context of their own situation and beliefs.  I'm not them, so I don't feel it's my place to tell them what to do.  I don't know what they're going through, so who am I to tell them what they should do?

#5 - I value children as people.
When I see those pro-life billboards, they infuriate me because they treat babies as though they're puppies.  Cute, cuddly things that you take home and play with and show off to the neighbors.  I don't see babies as just babies, but as people just starting out.  When you create a baby, you're creating an eventual adult, who will live a life marked by tremendous pain and suffering.  Yes, that life will hopefully also contain a lot of joy and happiness, but you can't ignore that people inevitably suffer.  I'm not saying life isn't worth living, but that it's a big responsibility to bring someone into the world.  We shouldn't be encouraging people to do it just because babies are cute.

#6 - I don't think that life under any circumstances is always a good thing.
Yes, I do think that being aborted is a better fate than being born to abusive parents who beat you mercilessly until you die as a toddler.  Sorry, I just do.  Does that mean I think that every unplanned pregnancy should be terminated?  No. I was the product of an unplanned pregnancy and my parents rose to the challenge, as most do, and became great parents.  However, they had a great support system and a lot of help.  Not everyone does. I can't assume that eveyone facing an unplanned pregnancy is as fortunate as my parents were.  Had they chosen abortion, I wouldn't know any better because I wouldn't exist.  It's not something I agonize over.  In the big scheme of things I'm just a minor speck.  Besides, there is a difference between an unplanned pregnancy and an unwanted pregnancy.  I simply think that women deserve the respect to decide for themselves which they are dealing with.

The Crazy File

Although it's been dormant for awhile, I thought I'd share some gems from my "Crazy File."  When I first started my now defunct business, the local paper did a story on my new store.   The story printed my name, obviously, and talked about our store's products in an article about several local women-owned businesses.  It mentioned nothing about my political views or community activism.  As soon as it was published, I started getting letters from a secret admirer.  All of them were addressed to me personally at my business address.  None had return addresses on them, and none were signed.  Here are a few of my favorites (all emphasis is theirs, not mine):

"Ms Pro Abortion, Ms Planned Parenthood, Ms Kill Children Advocate, Ms. B.O. elect lover, What church do you belong to?  Do they know, do you know, The Ten Commandments?  Their not the ten suggestions!  5th.  Thou Shalt NOT KILL!  It's a human being with a SOUL, Not an animal, not a veggie, not a MASS OF TISSUE.  Repent your ABortion! We don't need your demonic messages!"

This one was written inside a very nice sympathy card:
"Your hero and martyr and leader in the killing of babies is gone your grief must be overwhelming Poor George didn't know Our Lords 5th commandment THOU SHALT NOT KILL!!!  But take consolation: you have a PRO ABORTION PRESIDENT.  He advocates killing babies!"

And this one was attached to a coupon we had running in local flyer:
"Are you proud that your Obama is the pro-abortion president and chooses only pro abortion leeches for his cabinet?  How many babies killed in BO's first 100 days?????"

It's really too bad that this person chose to remain anonymous.  I would have loved to have engaged in a civil dialogue about our differing points of view and perhaps found some common ground. . . . . . oh, wait. . . .

Abortion Crackers

Many of you have already heard this story (in fact, probably all of you at this point), but I figured I better get it written down for posterity anyway.

I used to own a small, specialty foods store.  One day, a priest walked into my store with a woman (no, this is not the start of a joke).  Despite my devout atheism, I was surprised to find that I really liked this preist.  He seemed like a cool guy.  Plus, he purchased pretty much everything I recommended to him.  I'm not sure what this lady's relationship to him was, but she purchased a few things as well, then they both left.

The very next day, this lady walked timidly into my store carrying her bag of groceries.  After a few minutes of awkwardly standing at the front of the store she approached me and asked if I was the owner.  I told her I was, and after a few more minutes of hemming and hawing she asked me if I was pro-choice.  I told her that I was and she immediately put her bag down on the counter and said, "I'm sorry, I have to return these."  I was a little bit in shock, but I said, "ok" and began to process the return.  She told me she had already eaten some of the food, but the crackers were unopened so I gave her a refund on those.  I figured, she could accuse me of being pro-choice, but she couldn't accuse me of being rude or unfair.  I was as pleasant as I could possibly be about the whole thing, and as she was leaving she said, "I'm sorry, I just see it as the killing of little babies," and I replied, "Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one," and she left.

Thereafter, the staff and I lovingly referred to that brand of crackers as the "abortion crackers."  Needless to say, I never saw that priest (or any other priest) ever again.  I guess word got around town that I was a "killer of little babies."

I guess what bothered me the most about the whole thing is that she didn't ask me if I was killing babies in the back room, or if I was giving store funds to Planned Parenthood or anything, she simply asked me if I was pro-choice.  Meaning, simply the fact that I believe that people are allowed to make up their own minds on the issue is enough to boycott my store.  Unbelievable.

Pieces of Flair

I had a "button making party" this weekend where a few friends of mine and I made over 100 one-of-a-kind buttons for the upcoming "Women's Expo" that our pro-choice group will be participating in.  I actually really got into it and forsee making about 6,000 more on my own after the kids are asleep.  Some of our favorite slogans:

"Pro-Child, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice"
"Trust Women"
"Mother by Choice"
"Pro-Faith, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice"
"Pro-Baby, Pro-Choice"

Do you see a theme here?  In a community like mine, I find that many people who consider themselves "pro-life" would actually find that they are pro-choice if they just realized that you can still like babies and support abortion rights.  Like I try to tell people; whether or not you're pro-choice has nothing to do with your personal stance on abortion.  It's only based on whether or not you believe that other women are capable of making that decision for themselves.

You really can love your kids and be pro-choice at the same time.  I do!