The War on Christmas

As part of my annual "War on Christmas," I submitted an entry for the local paper's segment on Christmas Stories. From the paper's website:

"The stories of Christmas have been a Dispatch favorite since 1988. Each year we get wonderful stories, some humorous and light-hearted; others are thoughtful, touching remembrances. Winners are published in the Christmas Eve edition of the Dispatch. Stories should be 300 words or less."

My submission:

"I’m an atheist. But if you ask me what my favorite holiday is, I will tell you it’s Christmas. Hands down. No contest. For me, it really is “the most wonderful time of the year.” I struggled with my utter devotion to Christmas for a few years after becoming an atheist. I felt like a hypocrite; rejecting religion on the one hand, while embracing a religious holiday on the other. 

But after doing some basic research into the roots of Christmas, I was able to relax and enjoy the holiday for what it really is; a break from the cold days of winter. An excuse to bring some greenery and lights inside your home when it’s dark and gray outside.  An occasion to get together with all of those people you may not see during the rest of the year. An opportunity to show your love through food. A chance to watch your children’s eyes light up as they open that present they’ve been begging for. A time to remember your own childhood, and reminisce with the ones you love.  All of these things remain special and magical to us, even if Jesus isn’t part of our equation. 

Your atheist neighbors aren’t out to wage a “War on Christmas.” Many of us love it just as much as you do! We just celebrate it our own way, with our own family traditions, and accept it as the cultural holiday that it is.  When we say “Happy Holidays,” it’s not because we hate Christmas.  It’s simply an acknowledgement that not everyone celebrates it. Because we know what it’s like to be part of the “out group,” and we don’t want others to feel the isolation that we’re so familiar with. So, from my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas!"

Guess we'll have to wait until next week to see if I win! :-)

Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas

It's that time of year again.  My favorite time of year.  Christmas.  You know, the holiday we atheists are trying to wage a war on. But oddly enough, I have no interest in waging war on Christmas, and I think if you talked to most atheists, they would feel more or less the same. 

If you live in America, you probably grew up with Christmas in one way or another.  But to the dismay of many Christians, the holiday itself has virtually nothing to do with Christ.  Almost everything you think of when you think "Christmas" has little or nothing to do with Christianity.  Christmas trees, for example, have their roots in paganism, as do the yule log and most of the other decorative aspects of Christmas.  And how do Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus relate to Jesus?  They don't.  How do we know that Jesus was born on December 25th?  We don't.  In fact historians pretty much agree that he wasn't, if he even existed at all, which is a debate for another time.

But the main crux of the outcries over the "War on Christmas" is the reluctance of us secular progressives to solely use the term "Merry Christmas" when sending greetings to others at this time of year. What they don't seem to get, is that Jesus really isn't the reason for the season.  Winter holidays existed long before the time of Jesus, and it was about gathering with family to celebate and get a break from the hard, cold, dark winter.  In essence, that's what we're all really still celebrating.

I have no problem with saying "Merry Christmas" to people, if I know for a fact that Christmas is what they're actually celebrating.  However, if I'm talking to someone I don't know well, then I probably don't know if they're Jewish, or Muslim, or one of the other countless numbers of people who don't in fact celebrate Christmas in America.  We are, after all, a melting pot of cultures.  "Happy Holidays" is a safe, inclusive alternative to show that you respect whatever this time of year means to whoever you're addressing.  Especially if you run a business, why would you want to potentially alienate a large number of your clientele just to prove some stupid point?

What really bothers me is the fact that these days, there are people who hurl the phrase "Merry Christmas" at you as though it's some kind of warning.  As though they're trying to say, "We Christians are in charge here, and don't you forget it.  And if you're not going to acknowledge that Christmas is the supreme holiday in America, then you should probably just leave."  This sort of thing has happened to me more than once, because people assume that since I'm an atheist, I don't celebrate Christmas.  When in fact, the only difference between the Christmas celebration at my house and the one at theirs is the absence of a nativity scene at mine.  So they're really not offending me nearly as much as they hope they are.

It's all just nonsense.  If you want to say "Merry Christmas" to total strangers, that's your business.  But don't insist on painting the rest of us as thoughtless sheep for jumping on the "Happy Holidays" bandwagon.  It's more than a politically correct phrase (which I know is a topic of never-ending frustration for conservatives). It's a term of inclusiveness; not a rejection of Christmas.  The reason for the season is love, warmth, family and friends (and presents!), not just Jesus.  And we should honor everyone at this time of year, not just Christians.

The Christmas Conundrum

So, the daily thrust of life has kept me from blogging for awhile.  With a toddler, a 7-year-old, a full-time job and a chronic disease, one doesn't get as much time as one would like to devote to blogging.  However, I really wanted to get out a blog about Christmas, but since I was suffering a family bout of the bubonic plague during Christmas, I'm just getting to it now.

Let me start by saying, I love me some Christmas.  I mean, I'm decking the halls by November 10th.  And for a few years, I really had a mental debate going on in my head as to whether or not it was ok for me to love Christmas so much, what with me being an atheist and all.  But over the past few years, I've come to peace with my merry ways.

I realized that I'm not really celebrating the religious Christmas holiday, but rather the cultural one.  Christmas trees, presents, lights, and all that good stuff I love about Christmas were never really a part of the celebration of Jesus' birth until the church decided to co-op them for their own uses.  Most of the traditions we celebrate every year actually have pagan origins, and the church wisely predicted that if they could integrate these things with their religion somehow, it would persuade more people to convert since they wouldn't have to give up their beloved traditions.

We have no idea when Jesus was born (if he even really existed), so celebrating his birth on December 25th is really rather arbitrary.  Hence the reason we don't set up a nativity scene in our house.  For me, Christmas is a lot more about being close to your family, enjoying good food, giving freely to other people, and getting some sort of warm break from the cold winter.

I always laugh when I hear people decry the "war on Christmas."  As if Christmas in America is just suddenly going to be bombed into oblivion.  We love Christmas.  It's part of our cultural heritage.  Would I like to see the "Christ" taken out of Christmas?  Certainly.  But that doesn't mean I want to quit celebrating it.  I just want to celebrate the things that really matter about the season, like the happy-dance my children do when they open a particularly good present, our once-a-year cheesy egg bake that reminds me of my grandma, and watching the "A Christmas Story" marathon on TNT.  Is that really so wrong?

The Santa Question

We had the "Santa discussion" with our 7-year-old son last night. It actually went pretty well.

I should back up a little and say that I was listening to the audiobook version of "Parenting Beyond Belief" which is a parenting book for atheists. There were a few different takes on the Santa issue in the book.  Some said you should never tell your child that Santa is real to begin with, but since I read the book 7 years into my parenting adventure, that really wasn't an option.  Someone else said that you should reveal the secret at the point when they ask you point blank if Santa is real or not, because otherwise you're just lying to them, and when they eventually figure that out they may not trust you on other issues.

This plan of attack made sense to me.  Last year, when we were driving home one day, he piped up from the backseat and asked "Mom, is Santa really real?"  At that point, I just kind of danced around the issue by saying that some people believe Santa is real, and others don't, and it's really up to you to decide if you believe.  I realized later that this was the exact response I gave him when he asked me if God was real.

So a few days ago, I asked him what he was currently thinking about Santa Claus, and he said that he had a plan this year, whereby he would ask Santa for a certain present and not ask anyone else for it, and then when Santa brought it for him, he would know he was real.  Smart kid. 

You see why I didn't want to have his dreams crushed come Christmas morning.

When we spoke with him last night and told him that we were the ones buying him those "Santa" presents, he smiled.  We asked him how long he had suspected it was us, and he said, "since I was 4."  Again, smart kid.  When we asked him if he was disappointed that Santa wasn't real, he said "no" and then moved on with reading his book. 

Christmas at our house is a purely secular/cultural holiday.  It's all about food, family, and fun (oh, and presents).  I suspect that our son doesn't really care if Santa brings him any presents, as long as someone does and Christmas keeps coming. 

And hopefully, this will be a lesson to him in questioning the things that other people say are true, "just because."  If I can do anything good as a parent, it would be to instill in my sons the need to question and think for themselves.