Tuesday, December 12, 2017

So, About Al Franken. . .

Full disclosure, I'm copying this post directly from a comment I made in a private group on Facebook. I don't have the time or mental energy to put my thoughts together in any sort of coherent manner a second time. Enjoy!


This one is complex for me. And it’s hard to talk about because the issue seems to have lost any and all semblance of nuance (at least that I’ve encountered). So I want to make just a few comments to get them out of my head and up for discussion.

1. I’m still not fully convinced of his guilt. And I say this being completely on board with the concept of believing women. I know that in most of these cases, there simply won’t be any “evidence” because of the nature of the crime. And therefore we should err on the side of believing the women that speak up. I’m fully behind that idea and I’m not claiming that we should discount the women who have come forward solely based on the lack of solid evidence.

2. I’m very disappointed by all of the slut-shaming that has been happening in regard to Tweeden, as it makes absolutely no difference what she may or may not have done in her past. Groping is still groping. Using the “yeah but she posed nude” argument is not useful or okay, and I’ve been hearing far too much of that from the left. That said, I’m not sure I believe her. For a few reasons. One, a key part of her claim is that she believes Franken made up the skit in question as an excuse to be able to kiss/grope her. That’s simply not true, and she knows it. The same skit had been happening, with other performers, since before she was on the USO tour (which she had to have known). So the fact that she lied about this fundamental aspect of the story makes me question the rest of her story, as does the fact that she seems to be getting a lot of press for her new radio station out of this. Given that this same skit had been prepared and performed before Tweeden, it would make sense to me that other performers would come out with similar stories about this skit (or any other skit). But we haven’t heard from any of them, anonymously or otherwise.

3. The groping during photo ops. I also have a hard time believing this is accurate. Given the sheer volume of pictures this man takes with people every year, if this were truly something that he did, I’d expect to hear from many, many more women reporting it. As a person very close to MN politics, and someone who has met Al and taken several pictures with him, I would have thought that I would have heard “rumblings” about this type of behavior well before now. If there is a guy groping women during photo ops, I would expect that those of us involved in MN politics should have at least heard rumors before now. Maybe a “heads up, that guy likes to grab butts while he’s taking pics - watch out.” But I’ve literally never heard any such thing. And neither has anyone else I’ve ever spoken to involved in MN politics. Which doesn’t mean it wasn’t happening; it’s just surprising to me that women wouldn’t have been warning each other before this. And maybe they were, and I just never heard it. I don’t know. I will say that when you take a pic with Al, he pulls you in close and generally puts his arm around your waist. I can see how this would make some people feel uncomfortable. But again, he takes hundreds (probably thousands) of photos with people a year. It would not shock me to find out that he had “misplaced” a hand once or twice. Again, NOT saying it never happened, just my reasons for doubting.

4. The Tweeden picture. It was clearly in bad taste, but I also think it’s clear he wasn’t actually touching her. That’s not an excuse, but I do think there’s a difference between touching and not touching. Doesn’t mean he wasn’t in the wrong. I just don’t think “groping” is an accurate representation of what was going on in that photo. I also find it odd that he would take that picture knowing full well that she would see it if there was any malicious intent behind it. Not that intent matters, necessarily, especially in relation to how the woman felt about it, but I do think it goes to the “level” of what kind of “wrong” this was. This was a picture taken by the photographer who was documenting the trip, and they all knew they’d all be getting copies of the pics at the end of the trip.

5. The apology. If you listen carefully, Al has been very deliberate about not “confessing” to anything other than the Tweeden picture. I think he was trying to tread a fine line between not admitting guilt (because he knew he wasn’t guilty) and not straight up calling the women liars. He knew claiming that they lied would make the whole thing worse, but it put him in a tough position. Does he admit to something he didn’t do, or does he protest and just have everyone assume he’s lying and trying to disrespect the women? It’s an impossible situation to be in.

6. Bottom line, my main reason for questioning the claims made is that Al is a very smart guy. He fought hard for his senate seat, and he took the position very seriously. Those of us in MN saw that. He refused to joke at all on the campaign trail or anywhere else for a few years at the beginning just because he wanted people to know that this was something he was taking seriously. I really, genuinely, have a hard time believing he’d be so cavalier with people (especially constituents), and risk losing that seat because he wanted to be able to grab some butts or make out with a model. He’s not stupid. He would have known that these things could be found out at any time, and he surely would have known what it would have done to his career.

But, in this moment, he also knew that trying to protest the accusations was a no-win game. It doesn’t matter if he actually did it or not, because believing women first is finally becoming the standard. And that’s a good thing for society. But in this instance, I really think an innocent man may have gotten thrown under the bus. It makes me sad. I hope he didn’t do these things, and I think I have decent reasons to believe he didn’t. Either way, it’s over now and we’ve lost one of the best senators we had. And those of us who elected him and fought for him had no say in the matter. He called for an ethics investigation into himself, and we didn’t even let that play out. I find that disheartening, and it makes me sad that all of the arguments I’m hearing on all sides of this are terrible. So basically, yeah. This whole thing just sucks.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Handy Dandy Guide to NOT Sexually Harassing Someone

Are you someone who is worried about being accused of sexual harassment? Do you live in perpetual fear that someone you flirted with might accuse you of having done something inappropriate, thereby ruining your reputation as a "good guy?" Well fear no more, dear readers! This post is for you!

**Please note, this post will ONLY help you avoid charges of sexual harassment, not rape. I'm saving rape for a different post.**

(Okay, that sounded weird. . . .)

The Liberal House on the Prairie Handy Dandy Step-by-Step Guide to Not Being Accused of Sexual Harassment

Let's take this in stages. If you've ever asked yourself any of the following questions, refer to my practical advice on how to make sure you don't later get accused of doing something "bad."

Section 1 - Dick Pics


Q: I like someone, and I want to send them a dick pic. Is that okay?

Follow these steps to decide what to do: 

Step 1. Is your dick the most majestic, most glorious dick that this person will probably ever have seen?
  • Yes? Proceed to step 2. 
  • No? Proceed to step 2.

Step 2. Has this person specifically asked you to send them a dick pic? 
  • Yes? Congratulations! You can send the dick pic! 
  • No? Proceed to step 3.

Step 3. Is the person you want to send the dick pic to someone you know?
  • Yes? Proceed to step 4.
  • No? Proceed to step 5.

Step 4. Ask the person, politely, if you may send them a dick pic. What is their answer?
  • Yes? Congratulations! You can send the dick pic! 
  • No? Proceed to step 5.

Step 5. DO. NOT. SEND. THE. DICK. PIC. FULL STOP.

Section 2 - Flirting in Real Life (or "IRL" as the kids say)


Q: I like someone, and I'd like to flirt with them. Is that okay?

Follow these steps to decide what to do: 

Step 1. Are you drunk?
  • Yes? Rethink this whole thing and maybe try again when you're sober.
  • No? Proceed to step 2.

Step 2. Approach the person and engage in light, not creepy conversation. Examples include, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" or "Hi, my name is <insert real name here>. I saw you from across the room and decided I just really wanted to meet you." Ask them if they'd like to talk and/or get some coffee. What is their response?
  • Yes? Proceed to step 3.
  • "Sure, maybe, sometime. . . .I have to go check on my friends. . . " Proceed to step 5.
  • No? Proceed to step 5.

Step 3. Get to know them. Ask them questions about their interests. Try not to be creepy about it. Ask them if they'd like to meet again for a date. How do they answer?
  • Yes? Proceed to step 4.
  • "Sure, maybe, sometime. . . .I have to go check on my friends. . . " Proceed to step 5.
  • No? Proceed to step 5.

Step 4. Go out on a date with them. Repeat this process until you're either in a committed relationship with them or you part ways.

Step 5. Leave them alone! They're not interested! FFS! 
  • Do NOT continue to ask them either now or at a later date. 
  • Do NOT explain to them how much you really like them (because that doesn't fucking matter - they owe you nothing). 
  • You are going to turn into a straight up stalker and be accused of sexual harassment. Because you are now committing sexual harassment.

Section 3 - Flirting Online 


Q: I like someone, and I'd like to flirt with them on the website/app of my choice. Is that okay?

Follow these steps to decide what to do: 

Step 1. Are you drunk?
  • Yes? Rethink this whole thing and maybe try again when you're sober.
  • No? Proceed to step 2.

Step 2. Are you on Facebook?
  • Yes? First consider that for most people, Facebook is not a dating site. Most people are NOT there looking for new romantic relationships. But if you must, proceed to step 3, with caution.
  • No? Proceed to step 3.

Step 3. Follow ALL of the same rules from Section 2, as well as reviewing Section 1.
  • Even though you're online, there's an actual human being at the other end of that Internet connection. 
  • Your actions online have real life consequences. Don't believe me? Ask Anthony Weiner. Although, if you do ask him, you'll probably get an unsolicited dick pic in return. So maybe don't ask him.

Step 4. If, at ANY time, the person you are flirting with online asks you to stop contacting them, stop contacting them. 
  • No need to respond with a "fine, you're a skanky ass bitch anyway." Just leave it alone. Cease contact, and leave them the fuck alone. 
  • Do not explain to them how you REALLY like them (because that doesn't fucking matter - they owe you nothing). 
  • You are going to turn into a straight up stalker and be accused of sexual harassment. Because you are now committing sexual harassment.

Section 4 - Workplace Crushes


Q: I like someone at work and would like to pursue them romantically. Is that okay?

Follow these steps to decide what to do: 

Step 1. Read this article, because it puts it into much better perspective than I can. And because my fingers are getting tired from typing.

Section 5 - Being in a Position of Power


Q: I'm the President of the United States and I really want to hit on some chicks. Is that okay?

A: No. Absolutely not. You're a fucking monster who should be in prison for a variety of reasons.


So there you have it. Everything you need to make good choices going forward and not be accused of sexual harassment. You're all set! You got this. I believe in you.