More than 50 Shades of Gray

I think I may have finally figured out what it is. That thing. The thing that separates liberals from conservatives. The thing that, when you peel back all of the arguments and rhetoric about everything, is at the heart of the disagreement between the left and the right.

Are you ready?

Here it is.

Uncertainty. Ambivalence. Complexity. Ambiguity. Skepticism. In short, shades of gray.

This may be common knowledge to many of you, but it really feels like an epiphany to me. The reason that I hold so many of the opinions I do is not that I'm so sure of the rightness of my own thinking; it's the fact that I know I don't know everything.

It's the reason so many liberals like to cite scientific studies and focus on "evidence-based practices." We know that our own knowledge on any given subject is limited, and therefore we look to experts who spend more time studying the topic than we do.

We are comfortable with moral ambiguity because we know that morality isn't always necessarily black and white. We know that the idea of "good guys and bad guys" is misleading.

Life is complex. People are complex. And the world is messy. We know that not everyone thinks and acts exactly like us, and so we try to reserve judgement for when we know more about a situation, and make allowances for diversity and variation.

When I wrote my last post about abortion, I had someone arguing with me about when I think "life" begins. I told him that I don't know, which is why I don't think it should be up to me to make that decision for someone else. He kept pressing me for an answer and seemed very perplexed at why I could not make an absolute decision. The fact is, I don't know when a person starts becoming a true "person." I know that a cluster of cells is different than a newborn baby. But is there a moment between month 3 and 4 when a fetus becomes more "human" than it was before? Maybe. But since that is a philosophical question, it seems to me that the best course of action is to leave the decision up to the woman involved, because I don't know what's going on in her life.

I've also been arguing about voter ID laws over the past day on Facebook (yes, I enjoy arguing).  So many people think that since voter ID makes sense to them, and since it wouldn't affect them at all, then we should do it. I mean, who needs "research" or the opinion of professionals who actually specialize in voter fraud when we have some stories we heard one time about someone voting in place of their dead uncle? People don't seem to want to look outside their own bubble and find out more about what is actually going on in any given situation for someone else.  They'd rather have the certainty of knowing they're right.

I've been trying to watch "The House I Live In" for the past day or two (I've gotten about halfway through it at this point) which is a film about America's "war on drugs." It's a fascinating topic, but most conservatives won't give a second thought to what's going on in the lives of prisoners. They're drug dealers, they belong in jail, that's it. Any attempt to explain the background of someone who's in jail is just "making excuses for their crime."  They don't worry too much about the death penalty because the person being executed "deserves it."  They don't give a second thought to all of the complexity of situation and room for human error that exists in any human-based undertaking such as our criminal justice system.

Here's what I think it all basically boils down to: liberals don't want people to suffer needlessly when we can do something about it, and we don't want people to be dicks about everything. Beyond that, the conversation is wide open and we're willing to change our minds if the circumstances change or the situation becomes clearer.

So, if you want to be a liberal, keep an open mind and don't be a dick. Now go about your business.

Liberal House at the Fair - Part Two

As I mentioned in "Liberal House at the Fair - Part One," I had a chance to sit at the Democratic Party booth at our local county fair a couple of weeks ago. If you didn't read "Liberal House at the Fair - Part One," then there must be something wrong with you. Rectify the situation immediately by going back and reading "Liberal House at the Fair - Part One,” and then come back and finish up this post. Don't worry; I'll wait. In fact, why don't you just go back and read all of my blog posts from the beginning so that you won't have to pay for the book when it comes out.

So now that they're gone, here's what happened. 

The day that I was at the fair, August 1st, was the day that the new Minnesota marriage equality law went into effect. As you can imagine, the whole state was just falling apart piece by piece, and rampant heterosexual divorce was going on at an alarming rate. 

In the midst of this, an elderly gentleman walked up to the booth and motioned at the "John Ward for State Representative" literature on our table. John Ward is our current State Representative, and despite the fact that the majority of his constituency was against it, he voted "yes" on marriage equality.  A move that may very well cost him his office.

Him: "Ward really missed the boat on this one!"

Me: "What was that? Missed the boat on what?"

Him: "Oh, you know, it has something to do with that thing going on today."

Me: "You mean gay marriage?"

Him: "Yup. You guys really missed the boat on that one."

Me: "Well, I'm still married to my husband. And I'm guessing most other straight people are too."

Him: "Straight?"

Me: "You know, people who aren't gay."

Him: "Well I don't see any of them gay people being able to have babies."

Me: “I didn’t get married just to have babies.”

Him: “So why did you get married?”

Me: “Because I fell in love with someone and wanted to commit to that person and spend my life with him.”

Him (preceding his comment with a condescending chuckle): “Let me tell you something. There’s a whole lot more to marriage than just love!”

Me: “Oh, believe me, I know. This month will be my 12 year anniversary. There is a LOT more to marriage than just love. But we don’t require people to have babies when they get married. People can still get married and just choose not to have kids, right?”

Him (looking a little perplexed): “But the Catholic Churches teaches. . .”

Me (cutting him off rudely): “But I’m not Catholic. Why should I have to follow Catholic teachings when I’m not Catholic?”

Him (probably astonished that a girl less than half his age was getting cheeky with him): “Well that’s their choice to follow the gay lifestyle.  But it doesn't mean they should be able to get married!”

Me: “It’s not a choice.”

Him: “What, do you think they’re born that way or something?”

Me: “Yes. How else would it happen?”

Him: “It’s all about the parents and how they raise their kids.”

Me: “But all of their parents are straight.”

Him: “What?”

Me: “Their parents are straight, you know; not gay.”

Him (shaking his head): “Well, the parents must have done something wrong.”

Me: “Then how do you account for families where one kid grows up to be gay and all of the other siblings are straight?”

Him (probably growing annoyed with my incessant logic): “That kid must have just missed the boat somewhere. You guys definitely lost a lot of votes on this one. You really missed the boat.”

He then walked off realizing that you just can’t reason with pinko, hippie, commie, queer-lovers who have clearly missed the boat. 

Oddly enough, it’s been 14 days and my hetero-marriage has endured.   No one has torn me from the arms of my husband in order to force me into a marriage with a woman, although I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. . . . .

What Liberals Celebrate on the 4th of July

While browsing through Facebook today, I came across a great article by Dan Bimrose entitled "What a Liberal Does on the 4th of July."  It was an excellent read and it inspired me to write my own post about liberals and Independence Day.  Then I realized that (a) my toddler will be up from his nap soon, so I don't have much time, and (b) I really can't say it any better than Dan did.

If you want to read the full article, go here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-bimrose/what-a-liberal-does-on-th_b_887567.html

Otherwise, here is my favorite part:

Liberals respect, honor and cherish the Constitution as an evolving document capable of being changed when we as a nation are ready for change.

We believe that the founders had it right when they said in the Declaration of Independence, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." We believe this to be the very worthy intent of our founding fathers.

We acknowledge conservatives love the Constitution as well. Well, they love certain parts of the Constitution. Different conservative groups would love to repeal a variety of amendments including the 8th, the 14th, the 16th, the 17th, the 19th and possibly the 26th amendment.

Liberals do believe that children born in the inner city or poverty stricken rural areas deserve the same access to health care as blue bloods spending the holiday on Martha's Vineyard. We are not unpatriotic because we believe this. Perhaps you could call us compassionate, but not unpatriotic.

We understand that we pass on more to our children than just budgets and balance sheets. We also pass on the environment and the planet to our children and grandchildren. Regardless of whether or not we feel that global warming is real or a myth we still value clean water and clean air.

We may not appreciate the wars we are currently fighting in the Middle East, but we love and respect our soldiers. After all they are our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, wives and husbands.

We believe that teachers, policeman and firefighters should be paid and paid well due to their value and service to our community.

We believe that all of our children deserve libraries, gym class, and the opportunity to star in their school play.

We believe our country is great because we are a melting pot, not in spite of it. We value diversity. This is the American Way. This was the American dream.

We pay our taxes, but think that the wealthiest amongst us and the most profitable industries can share in bearing a little extra burden to fix our government's mistakes.

We believe that our senior citizens are people who have served our countries and their families well. They deserve not just our respect, but the ability to retire with the reasonable assurance that their health needs and financial needs will be met.

No, we do not agree with everything and most of the time we do not agree with anything, but it is not necessary to call each other unpatriotic or un-American. Liberals do not think conservatives are evil, we just think they are wrong. Perhaps some of the name calling conservatives out there will learn that liberals are Americans too.

Whether liberal or conservative, we are all American.  Have a great 4th everyone!