Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Liberal House at the Fair - Part Two
As I mentioned in "Liberal House at the Fair - Part One," I had a chance to sit at the Democratic Party booth at our local county fair a couple of weeks ago. If you didn't read "Liberal House at the Fair - Part One," then there must be something wrong with you. Rectify the situation immediately by going back and reading "Liberal House at the Fair - Part One,” and then come back and finish up this post. Don't worry; I'll wait. In fact, why don't you just go back and read all of my blog posts from the beginning so that you won't have to pay for the book when it comes out.
So now that they're gone, here's what happened.
The day that I was at the fair, August 1st, was the day that the new Minnesota marriage equality law went into effect. As you can imagine, the whole state was just falling apart piece by piece, and rampant heterosexual divorce was going on at an alarming rate.
In the midst of this, an elderly gentleman walked up to the booth and motioned at the "John Ward for State Representative" literature on our table. John Ward is our current State Representative, and despite the fact that the majority of his constituency was against it, he voted "yes" on marriage equality. A move that may very well cost him his office.
Him: "Ward really missed the boat on this one!"
Me: "What was that? Missed the boat on what?"
Him: "Oh, you know, it has something to do with that thing going on today."
Me: "You mean gay marriage?"
Him: "Yup. You guys really missed the boat on that one."
Me: "Well, I'm still married to my husband. And I'm guessing most other straight people are too."
Me: "You know, people who aren't gay."
Him: "Well I don't see any of them gay people being able to have babies."
Me: “I didn’t get married just to have babies.”
Him: “So why did you get married?”
Me: “Because I fell in love with someone and wanted to commit to that person and spend my life with him.”
Him (preceding his comment with a condescending chuckle): “Let me tell you something. There’s a whole lot more to marriage than just love!”
Me: “Oh, believe me, I know. This month will be my 12 year anniversary. There is a LOT more to marriage than just love. But we don’t require people to have babies when they get married. People can still get married and just choose not to have kids, right?”
Him (looking a little perplexed): “But the Catholic Churches teaches. . .”
Me (cutting him off rudely): “But I’m not Catholic. Why should I have to follow Catholic teachings when I’m not Catholic?”
Him (probably astonished that a girl less than half his age was getting cheeky with him): “Well that’s their choice to follow the gay lifestyle. But it doesn't mean they should be able to get married!”
Me: “It’s not a choice.”
Him: “What, do you think they’re born that way or something?”
Me: “Yes. How else would it happen?”
Him: “It’s all about the parents and how they raise their kids.”
Me: “But all of their parents are straight.”
Me: “Their parents are straight, you know; not gay.”
Him (shaking his head): “Well, the parents must have done something wrong.”
Me: “Then how do you account for families where one kid grows up to be gay and all of the other siblings are straight?”
Him (probably growing annoyed with my incessant logic): “That kid must have just missed the boat somewhere. You guys definitely lost a lot of votes on this one. You really missed the boat.”
He then walked off realizing that you just can’t reason with pinko, hippie, commie, queer-lovers who have clearly missed the boat.
Oddly enough, it’s been 14 days and my hetero-marriage has endured. No one has torn me from the arms of my husband in order to force me into a marriage with a woman, although I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. . . . .