Here in Minnesota, we don't have any Chick-Fil-A restaurants that I know of, so this whole Chick-Fil-A controversy doesn't affect me much. In case you've been living in a cave and haven't heard about the brouhaha, the owner of Chick-Fil-A did some radio show somewhere in which he professed his disdain of marriage equality.
So now you've got the LGBT community and their allies (like me) boycotting Chick-Fil-A, and religious fundamentalists gorging themselves on chicken sandwiches to support them.
One thing that is kind of bothering me about the marriage equality community's response to this whole thing is the planned "Same Sex Kiss Day" at Chick-Fil-A restaurants around the country that will be held tomorrow. It seems to me that showing up en masse at Chick-Fil-A's to make out with someone of the same sex only advances the stereotype that gay people are only concerned with sex all the time, and with shoving their "lifestyle" in people's faces.
What's wrong with a good-ole-fashioned boycott or basic protest? Or maybe organize an event to go and eat at some alternative chicken restaurant whose owner has some more progressive values? (Not sure which restaurant that would be, but there's got to be one somewhere.)
I'm just a little concerned about the photos that will pop up from this event, and how they will be perceived by all the bigots out there who already have pre-conceived notions of how gay people "are." I think the only way to change people's minds is to show them that there really isn't much of a difference between them and someone who they think is different, and most people I know have no interest in making out at a chicken joint.
I know it's not my job to change people's minds, and that we shouldn't kowtow to people who are just ignorant, but overall this could really just give some more ammo to the "being gay is all about sex" crowd. Maybe I'm wrong about this, and I'd be interested to hear what my LGBT friends would have to say about it. I just don't see much good coming about due to the event, and I see the potential for a massive backfire.
I saw one picture of the same sex kiss in front of the Chick-fil-A in Hollywood, CA. The diners seemed oblivious.
ReplyDeleteAs far as "promoting the stereotype" goes, you've both made an excellent point and fallen into the stereotype, I think.
If my partner and I hold hands, exchange a goodbye peck, snuggle in a movie or steal a kiss in a park (or in front of a restaurant), we are accused of "shoving our lifestyles in everybody's faces" or promoting our sexuality. But honestly, these acts are pretty pedestrian and hum drum. Do I think my straight friends are "shoving sex" into my face when they do these things? Of course not! :)
It's almost like we have to apologize for wanting to act normal. Anything above and beyond nun-like behavior is seen as detrimental, frowned upon, promoting an agenda. I mean, what would the children think? Gee, they might see two loving people expressing affection just like mom and dad do. They might see a gay couple as nothing exciting to write about, if it just is and nothing more.
The other thing that kills me is how oblivious many straight people are (I don't think it's hypocritical, but it is ... something) to the overt sexuality that our culture is already soaked in. Makeout sessions on TV. booty-call shorts are in. Pole dancing legitimized as an exercise activity. 50 Shades of blech. Stroll through my high school during hall passing times and tell me who you think is shoving what in our faces. Interestingly enough, those same kids will say, with a smirk, that they are fine with gay people, as long as they don't "shove it in your face, ya know?" To which I can usually reply (without outing myself) "so, what would you call your goodbye ritual before you dropped your gf off in the classroom across the hall? Because if that's not stopping traffic and shoving it in all of our faces, I don't know what is."
So in summary: backlash = bad
stereotypes should be broken down.
the general public needs to know how boring most of our lives are.
The people we spend our life apologizing to for who we are or who we love probably wouldn't support us anyway.
Real change isn't going to happen until people disassociate sex from being a gay-only-disgusting repulsive act and start seeing it both as a part of all loving relationships and something that our culture is soaking in all the time.
And ... the long lines and celebratory nature of these crowds scared the shit out of me. I get the Maggie Gallagher professional haters out there. But I didn't think so many normal looking people had it in them to celebrate -- CELEBRATE the persecution of my family.
And let me tell you -- knowing that Chick fil bigots sent money to the folks writing the "kill the gays" bills that were passed in Africa and the most extreme of them suggested publicly that that wasn't such a bad idea -- well ya know, that scares me to death. Much more so than what ripple two guys kissing on a sidewalk will generate.
Very well said, and I agree with all of your points 100%. The only place that I would disagree a little is that I think making out in a restaurant goes above and beyond the bounds of your average PDA no matter who's doing it. From what I've heard, the whole point of this event is to "make out" in the restaurant, not just share a simple kiss.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for our over-sexualized culture, you are absolutely right, and what frustrates me personally about that is the fact that we encourage the constant display of flesh while simultaneously telling people that birth control, sex ed, and abortion are all very, very bad.
I love the "how do I explain this to my children" argument. I heard someone on the radio just yesterday saying something to the effect of "If I'm walking down the street and see two men kissing each other, how am I supposed to explain that to my kid?" Well, you could do it the same way I explained it to my kid: some people grow up to love a person of the opposite sex, and some people grow up to love someone of the same sex, and either one is fine. Was that so hard?
And yes, I know there are much bigger issues going on in regards to LGBT rights, but this has been saturating my talk radio programs all week, so I decided to put my two cents in. And I appreciate your two cents as well. :-)