Democracy Doubts

Like Rush Limbaugh before me, I'm going to say something deeply unpopular.  You ready for it?  Here it is:

I'm not so sure about this whole "democracy" thing we have going on in the U.S.

There's been a lot of talk about voter suppression laws lately, and it's just not an issue I can get incredibly excited about, because deep down, in a dark place I don't like to talk about, I don't believe that everyone should be voting.

Now, to clarify, I don't think that people should be kept from voting on the basis of race, class, income, party affiliation, or anything like that.  I simply think that we should weed out people based on stupidity.  If you're stupid, you should not be voting.  Simple as that.

"How would we gauge levels of stupidity?" you might be asking.  Well, of course the simplest way would be to let me decide on each and every person's ability to vote, but since that would be prohibitively time-consuming, I've devised a quick test that we could administer when people are registering to vote.  Here's my draft:

Question 1.  What are the 3 branches of government?

                    a. legislative, bureaucratic & socialistic
                    b. legislative, executive & judicial
                    c. maple, oak & pine
                    d. I thought there were only 2

If you answered a, c, or d, you don't get to vote.

Question 2.  Who is the current vice-president of the United States?
                   
                    a. Barack Obama
                    b. Dick Cheney
                    c. Joe Biden
                    d. Barack Obama is a socialist

If you answered a, b, or d, you don't get to vote.

Question 3.  Who is Kim Kardashian currently dating?
                   
                    a. Kanye West
                    b. Michael Jordan
                    c. I don't really give a shit
                    d. Who is Kim Kardashian?

Unless you answered c or d, you don't get to vote.

Question 4. Please name at least one of your U.S. Senators.

If you can't name at least one, you don't get to vote.

Question 5. Which of the following programs could be correctly defined as "socialist?"
                  
                   a. the Fire Department
                   b. the Police Department
                   c. the local public school
                   d. Obamacare

If you answered d, you don't get to vote.

We could always throw some essay questions in there just to make it a little more fair, but I think these questions would be a good start.  I'm not so concerned about who people are voting for.  My concern is that people are voting based on 30 second TV ads and then doing no further research on the issues.

My brother has a theory that our democracy is the very thing that is making our society so collectively stupid.  His theory goes that because we have so much freedom, we are free to be lazy, apathetic and uninformed.  I think he may be right. 

Am I saying we should go to an all-out dictatorship? Not necessarily.  That would only work if I were the dictator.  But maybe we should invest a little more in public information on government.  We are doing a terrible job of teaching basic civics to our children, and it has made us a more divided, divisive society, which makes me fear for our future.